Standard Poodle For Sale

Never has this one dog made me so mad. Ok, except the time he chewed up my hearing aids, never has this dog made me so mad! Ben is at the beach with some friends and since I am working this weekend, I am home alone for this one night. I have just settled down into my cozy bed in my flannel sheets, covered up with my down blanket (which happens to be one of my favorite wedding gifts), and I am drifting off into peaceful slumber....

Suddenly, I feel Berkley jump up onto the bed. This behavior only occurs when Ben is nowhere in sight and is typically allowed by me since he doesn't shed and he usually stays just for a minute. So, Berkley jumps on the side of the bed opposite of that which I am laying. He is there for a second, walks over me, and jumps down onto the floor. As his paw brushes over my face and lands on my pillow (he has no concept of personal face and often steps on me, sits down on my head, stands on my lap completely blocking my view, etc..), I notice that the paw is damp and smells funny. In my sleepy state I rationalize that he's been chewing on a giant bone and his paw is probably wet from that. As the seconds pass I cannot rationalize with myself that what I am smelling is a normal bone slobber smell (neutral). I keep telling myself it's ok. Go back to sleep. Just slobber from chewing, nothing more. Finally, the smell gets the best of me and I reach up and turn on the lamp on my bedside table.

To my horror, I find a huge, HUGE, pee spot smack in the middle of my DOWN BLANKET!!!!!!!!

WHAT IN THE WORLD??????!!!!!! I immediately glance over at the guilty party who is sitting at the foot of the bed staring at me as if waiting to be discovered. We make eye contact. He darts to his crate. "OUTSIDE!!!!!" I yell furiously. "GET OUTSIDE NOW!!!!" He makes no move from his crate. I reach inside the crate with my arm extended as far as I can reach but I still can't grab his collar since his has pressed himself against the back of the crate. I finally have to put my head in the crate to grab him and I proceed to drag his 40 pound, stiff, resistant body out of the crate and push him out the back door.

I then proceed to survey the damage. Ruined down blanket, check. Pee spot on silk throw pillow cover, check. Pee seeped down onto top sheet under blanket, check. Pee seeped down to fitted sheet, check. Pee seeped down to mattress cover, check. Pee on mattress?? No. HALLELUJAH! Pee on my pillow case, check. Pee on Ben's pillow case, check. Pee seeped down to Ben's pillow thus ruining it, check. Master bedroom that smells like dog pee, check.

Anyone want to buy a free poodle?

Disclaimer: I have no idea why Berkley peepee'd in the house, much less on the bed. He hasn't had an accident in my house in at least 6 months. I took him out last night before bedtime per our nightly routine. Any ideas what can make a dog act like this? He is otherwise completely normal.